okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
