So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
