sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
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Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.