Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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