Kiss
Puke
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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