guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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