someone threw a dead crab at me
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
