Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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