is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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