check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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