Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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