So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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