i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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