she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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