she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize