are you so shy because you have an std?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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