Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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