you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
