my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she told me i tasted like america
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
