You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
