Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
