There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
