I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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