For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
