Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
