DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
