how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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