he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize