And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
