All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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