I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is classic penis vs brain.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Panties = found
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
