At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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