The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
