awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
