that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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