She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
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