Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize