do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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