need another drink. this is the easiest way
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
