I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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