I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
