The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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