I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
