sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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