He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
