Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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