So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
