I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
