Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
