All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
