I didn't shave. On purpose
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
