She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Don't make out with my wife yet
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
