Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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