So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
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Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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