I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
