Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
