Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
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I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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