No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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