Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
